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Persuasions #2, 1980                                                                                                                                            Page 8

 

FANNY PRICE

by Jacqueline Marten
Larchmont, New York

 

When she wrote Mansfield, dear Jane’s humor

(Runs the rumor)

Was on ice;

Else how explain

Satiric Jane

Giving us a Fanny Price?

Fanny Price …

She was not nice.

Even Henry Tilney couldn’t deny it

And in this one case might justify it’s

Being said not once but twice.

For, though the term is not precise,

Still, Fanny Price

Was far from nice.

Behold her, meek and prim,

Humorless, lacking vim.

You say it once,

I’ll say it thrice

Jane’s dear Fanny wasn’t nice.

Shy Fanny. Sly Fanny

A Tabby Cat who played the mouse

(Mice aren’t nice about the house.

Like termites she bored from within,

Like little lice she chafed the skin.

Her table talk, it was not nice

For it lacked salt

And she lacked spice.

Poor Fanny. Dull Fanny,

She utterly lacked the charm to entice

A Wentworth or Darcy

Even Wickham,

Never Knightley.

Her appearance was fine

But her conduct unsightly.

I truly would wager a throw of the dice,

On sober reflection

(With heightened complexion)

Even Jane

Might maintain

Fanny Price

Wasn’t nice.